


Almost Human

by watersaugustus



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Demons, F/F, F/M, Fantasy, Like A Lot A Lot, M/M, Multi, Romance, a lot of snark remarks, a whole bunch of romance, also bad jokes, and puns oh we cant forget those puns, and sassy comebacks, eren is the literal spawn of satan, levi is a pompous ass, some magic will be involved bc well demons and what not
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-17
Updated: 2016-03-17
Packaged: 2018-05-27 06:50:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,453
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6274129
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/watersaugustus/pseuds/watersaugustus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Listen, I might be 30, unemployed and living off my rich parents, but there is no way I am going to babysit a snot-faced 20 year old with a mentality of a 4 year old old." Levi said and paused to continue his thoughts, "Even if he's the literal spawn of Satan."</p><p>Or the fic where Levi is a the heir to a multinational company who finds Eren Jaeger, naked (it's a long story) only to know that he is the son of Satan and is bounded to him by blood (also another long story) and Eren is determined to learn the ways of being human from Levi, all because of his goddamn curiosity. What Levi didn't expect was that he would also learn a few things from the bright eyed demon kid.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Almost Human

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The meeting with the most annoying, bright faced spawn of satan, along with the first lesson: Always keep yourself clean.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I really appreciate you guys for taking the time to check out my new fic. Hopefully it will be everything you guys have hoped it wil be. If you liked it, please subscribe and give it a Kudo! I'd love it if you guys would follow me along this special journey with Eren and Levi (and hopefully I wont laze off on updates, heh). With that said, please enjoy!

Rinse, lather, repeat. Rinse, lather, repeat. Rinse, lather, repeat. Rinse, lather, repeat. Rinse, lather, rep-

"Master Levi, sir, it's time for your afternoon meeting with Mr Smith."

Levi sighed and opened his eyes. "Leave me, Jean."

Jean nodded silently and left, leaving Levi back again with his meditation.

What was he meditating about? Oh just the normal things people meditate about, like him cleaning the room. There was just something about closing his eyes, imagining himself cleaning that was oddly serene and peaceful. Was he weird for thinking like this? Well, he assumed he was, but is this what all heirs to a multinational company always meditate to? Yes. He would like to think that he was correct. He didn't just liked cleaning, it was a routine that made him calm. And he didn't just like cleaning every edge of his big mansion, he had a passion and knack for it, he could see every dust in the room, every speck, speaking of which, there was just one right there-

"Master Levi, you need to leave now or you'll be late."

Levi growled and rubbed his temples in frustration. What must a man give to get a good mediation of cleaning in this house?

"I'm coming."

* * *

 

"Look, this better be good or I'm leaving."

"Well, this would have to depend on what you think is good or not good," Erwin chuckled, waving the short man over with his hand to the table.

Levi squinted, "If you're going to play mind games with me all day, I'm leaving right now."

"I'm just pulling your leg, Levi. Sit."

Levi pulled the chair and sat down grudgingly. If he was going to have tea with Erwin fucking Smith, he'd best prefer to act like an ass and made sure that Erwin realised he was bumped to be here. He would rather be at home, reading a book, or better yet, _cleaning_.

Erwin beckoned a waiter, and seconds later, they arrived with teapots and a tray of biscuits and small pastries.

"Assam tea, for Mr Smith, and the black tea, for Mr... Levi."

Levi ignored the way he stumbled at his name, being an heir to the most powerful company in their country, people were quick to know things about him. Like the fact that he was crazy about cleaning, which was not true at all, he simply just liked the motion of it, he certainly wasn't crazy about it. And also the fact that he hated people using his father's surname, almost like he owned all his achievements to being an Ackerman. Well, he was 30 and he was living off on his parent's inheritance money, but that's just how the way the Earth worked. Some people were born to be celebrities, some people were born to be poor, some people were born to be assholes, and Levi was born to be using his parents money. So what if that made him a jerk? He was born that way, and he liked living off his parents. Why would he work hard for something when the things he wanted was just a finger snap away?

He took a bite of his chocolate croissant and looked at Erwin, "I like french pastries, I really do, but I think we're all just burning daylight here, so, are you going to tell me why you wanted to meet me, or not?

"Well, as we all know, you're the heir to Sina Company, and your parents have left literally everything in your possessions, Kenny and I agreed that you might need some... training before they left the company to you." Erwin took a sip of his tea, "Nothing aggressive so far, just learning how to do presentations, going through documents, signing things off, interviewing with people, making good company with people-"

"If you were going to say 'nothing aggressive" so far in your sentence, you actually have to make sure that there is nothing aggressive." Levi pointed at him with his half bitten chocolate croissant, "And that is a no, I will not learn the ropes of the company."

"Why not?" Erwin had the audacity to looked appalled, even though Levi knew that Erwin had expected to his answer already.

"I'm not fit for those kinds of things, I have been smooching off my parents since I was 5, Erwin."

"But you went to school-"

"-And my homework was done by people in my class which I paid money for."

"At least you listened to the lectures?"

"Got people to go to the lectures and mock my attendance for me."

"How did you even get straight As in school?"

"I threatened the teachers to give me good results or I would ask my parents to fire them, just remembering their faces is cracking me up." Levi grinned.

Erwin paused for a good minute, until he whispered "Oh jesus, Kenny. What did you do to Levi..." He buried his face in his hands and sighed.

"Look, I'm not even going to consider this offer. I'm not even used to lifting up my hands to write something. If I had to run a company, I would rather have a secretary."

"Really?" Erwin looked up from his hands, "If you had a secretary, you would be willing to do this job?"

"Yeah, I would- wait a minute," Levi paused, looking at the mirth in Erwin's eyes. "No, no, no, no, no."

"An Ackerman never goes back on his words!" Erwin smirked.

"You tricked me!"

"I did not!" Erwin said dramatically, "You walked into the trap like a good old bunny."

"I didn't walk into anything, good fucking luck finding me a secretary, because no matter how good they are, I'm just going to reject every single one of them."

"I'm not going to do that Levi, _you_ are."

"What?" Levi spat.

"Find a secretary by the end of this month. Train them up to the standard that's worthy for the Sina Company, and then bring him up to me at the end of it to go through evaluation tests, and if he's good to go, this person is going to be your secretary for the rest of your time in Sina."

"And if I refuse?"

"All monthly expenses will not be credited to the Gold card your parents set up for you, instead you will be responsible for your own expenditure, with your own money."

"That's okay, I have money to last me a lifetime."

" _Your_ parents have money to last you a lifetime, you have exactly, $299.92 in your bank." 

Levi paled, that money isn't even enough to cover his monthly subscription of "Furry Paws: The Magazine all Animal Lovers Need", "I'll just ask my friends for money."

"All contacts have been warned not to give you financial assistance, lest they will be fired from their jobs, or their bank accounts will be frozen. Just learning from you with how you treated your teachers." Erwin winked. He even had the guts to _wink_.

"Fine. _Fine_. You win, Erwin Smith." Levi sinked into his chair and sulked.

"Good. One month, that's it. Armin will email you the details tomorrow. Have a good day, Levi."

"Fuck you." Levi stood up, ready to go. Jean got Levi's trench coat and draped it on him.

"Armin already has got that covered for me, thank you very much."

"Ugh, god. I don't want to hear about you fucking with your Secretary."

"Maybe I will hear that with you about _your_ Secretary one-"

"Bye, bye, bye, bye." Levi repeated until he was out of ears' reach.

* * *

"Are you sure it's safe, Eren?" Mikasa asked the bright eyed demon, 

"It's safe, it's super safe! I promise." Eren repeated for the umpteenth time that day, "I'm the son of Satan, you'd think I know how a summoning portal worked."

"You know Uncle Grisha doesn't like that name.'

"What? Satan?"

"Eren!" Mikasa pulled at his ear, "Enough."

"Ow, Mikasa!" Eren swatted at Mikasa's hands. Even though High-Class Demons weren't meant to feel pain, their ears were very sensitive. "It's not like he can hear us, anyways."

"Uncle Grisha has ears everywhere, he's the Lord of the Underworld, he could hear anything he wanted to."

"Not in the Summoning Plains, he can't. This place is sacred, so he didn't put any wards around here. Stop being such a goody-two shoes."

"I'm just worried. No one's ever used a summoning portal in ages, what if you get stuck on Earth?"

"Then that's good! I always wanted to learn about humans since I was small!"

"And if you get lost? If you get chased by stakes and fire torches?"

"Mikasa, relax! The only thing I have to worry about right now is being careful to look like an actual human, or else people on the streets will start taking out their smartphones and start posting my photos of my demonic self onto Twitter and Instagram."

"What's a smartphone?"

Eren groaned and took out his spellcasting book, "Just help me with the portal, alright?"

Mikasa looked at his adopted brother. Eren was draped in robes, navy blue like the ocean, with swirls of constellations painted in bonedust gold. Where the robes parted in the middle, it was held together by a golden belt, with streaks of metallic blue. He hated wearing the robes, but he had to, the son of Satan always had to be put up with high expectations, and dressing like royalty was one of them. Eren had dark green eyes that shimmered like emeralds, and Mikasa thought that was one of the best things he liked of him. His eyes were full of light, and it often reflected how he felt, like his eyes were mirrors to his feelings. His brown hair was straight and silky and they were long enough to spill to his feet, with two pointy ears attached to each ends of his head. Demons had the same physique like any other humans, only their ears were on their sides of their head.

"Mika?" Eren asked again, snapping Mikasa out of her trance. 

"I came here to bring you back to the palace, not to get yourself killed by going into a half-baked summoning portal."

"It's not a half-baked summoning portal," Eren said, making air quotes with his hands, "It's my ticket to getting to know more about the humans!"

"Eren, Uncle Grisha will never allow that."

"Well, it's either you help me, or I'll do it myself."

"Eren!" Mikasa yelled again, remembering that one time Eren was stupid enough to cast a summoning portal on his own. He summoned the Cerberus and angered them by throwing mud at it, which Eren tried to convince that he accidentally threw. Mikasa had a hard time subduing the beast, and Uncle Grisha had an even harder time apologising to Hades.

"C'mon, it'll just take about 5 hours, tops. I just have to finish my Human Realm Bucketlist and then we'll be out in a jiffy."

"Fine, but I'm going with you."

"Deal!" Eren laughed and summoned out Kip, his companion spirit. "Kip, do us a favor and draw a summoning portal would ya'?"

"If you're gonna have Kip do it for you, why did you even need me in the first place?"

"I just trained Kip to do his first summoning portal, I need you to help correct him for me!" Eren grabbed the black cat and nuzzled him. Kip was an all-black furred kitten with mesmerising crystal blues eyes. Kip meowed at Eren and lifted his paws and stamped Eren's face, brandishing his paws out. Eren yelped and put him down, while his injuries healed in an instance. "I guess he hated that."

"Or he just hated you from the beginning. Please keep that thing away from me," Mikasa was the most invincible warrior in the land of the dead, but she could never stand cats. She waited for Kip to finish drawing the circle, while Eren cheered the cat on, cheering him with "Go! Kip!' or,  "You can do it, Kip!" or, "Not that way, Kip!" or, "Kip! Don't pee in the summoning circle you just drew!"

Once Kip finished, he leaped out of the circle and licked his paws clean, looking at Mikasa with a smug look. _"There, now that half-peed, half-completed circle is your problem."_  He seemed to say.

"I'm going to kill that cat one day," Mikasa grounded her teeth together.

"What? No, anything but Kip!" Eren hugged Kip to protect him from Mikasa but all that ever did was earn a scratch from said cat.

"He peed into the circle, Eren. I'm not cleaning that shit up."

"I'll do it..." Eren whined and leaned back down, getting ready for an incantation to clean up the mess his cat did, but before he could mutter it, Kip launched at Eren, startling him and making him trip head-first into the spell circle, right into the spot of pee.

"That cat really hates you." Mikasa smirked, chanting her own spell, removing the stains on his robe, and his... everywhere. Cat piss was literally, everywhere on Eren.

"Maybe Kip just really loves me?"

"Maybe," Mikasa replied, her word laced with sarcasm, she lifted up her hands, and pointed it at the circle. "Est tus, cest la vie, som yer fes ker, obon yuter wes osenbons sie ver!"

The circle on the grassy plains shone with magical light, and Eren eyes lit up, "Mikasa! It worked!"

"Be careful, Eren! If anything happens to the Circle, it'll danger us when the spell is cast!"

"I know!" Eren said, and proceeded to chant the other part of the spell that unleashed the portal's entrance and he gingerly stepped into the portal.

Before Mikasa could continue her part of the spell that allowed her to get into the portal, Kip leaped out and stood at the entrance, looking at Mikasa directly.

"Kip?" Eren asked from the portal, "Wait, Kip! What are you doing!?" Before Mikasa could ask what was wrong, the portal disappeared with a gust of wind, and Mikasa was blown away by the impact and landed on the ground. She gasped and tried to stand up on her shaky legs. 

"I'm going to kill that cat one day." Mikasa repeated.

* * *

 Levi sighed on his way back on the car. How could he have let Erwin drag him into this? How was he going to find a secretary? 

"Jean, the usual place." Levi barked, and Jean looked up, frowning.

"You know your parents doesn't like it when you go there."

"I'm in a really bad mood right now, so if I say I want you to bring me to the Pussy Club, you bring me to the Pussy Club, alright?" Levi snapped.

"Fine!" Jean yelled at the driver to bring Levi to his usual place. 

Jean had been Levi's butler since the day that he was born. Jean was 4 when he was still a baby, and Levi had always taken him as his childhood friend. Jean was the only one whom Levi allowed to snap at him.

Before long, they arrived at the Pussy Club, and the driver went to open the door for him. "Master Levi, you have reached."

Levi got out of the car silently, and tossed his coat at Jean. He opened the door and strode in with purpose and a stern demeanour etched into his face, but he couldn't keep it for long when a grey tabby walked out and nudged at his leg with it's head. He sat down and started patting it's head. There was just two things that made him happy. Cleaning, and animals. Jean hung Levi's and his coat on the rack.

"Master Levi, you're supposed to be finding secretaries, not having fun in a cat cafe."

"Maybe I want a cat for a secretary," Levi commented, picking the grey tabby up. He gently sat it down on his lap and running his fingers on the tabby's head. The cat cafe was silent and empty, only Levi and Jean was present. Years ago, Levi discovered this cafe when he was on his daily trip to getting supplies to clean his house. At first when he saw the name, he thought it was a strip club, but when he knew what it really was, he had spent 12 hours in the cafe, and Jean had to drag him out forcefully from the cafe. Levi's dreams of living in a shop full of cats were shattered that day. But before long, Levi bought this shop, and whenever he wanted to, the owner would chase out the existing customers just so Levi could enjoy playing with the cats, in peace.

"There's no use fighting with you today, but tomorrow we are definitely going to find a secretary."

Levi didn't reply, instead he took a stick that had a feather with it and started waving it at the cat. Another cat, a Persian, was meowing, trying to get Levi's attention, but he was too engrossed in the way the grey tabby was jumping, it's eyes gleaming with determination to get the mysterious feather. The Persian meowed again, and when it noticed it's tactics were in vain, it got angry and retracted it's paws, striking at Levi's arm, and leaping away before Levi could do anything.

"Fucking-!" Levi hissed and caressed his arm. Three angry lines of claw marks glowered at him and he cursed again. The wound was quite deep, and there were already blood dripping out. "Jean, give me a towel before the blood gets everywhere." Too late. Trickles of blood landed on the carpet and Levi groaned. _It's fine, Levi. We can pay for it, there is still one month left._ He talked to himself.

"I'll be right back." Jean disappeared to find a towel, and Levi cradled his arm. The wound didn't hurt, but it looked worser than he thought. What if his wound got infected? Would he have mad cow's disease? Or wait was it mad cat's disease? And why is the floor suddenly glowing? Was Levi out of his mind from the wound? No, but seriously, the floor is glowing-

Before Levi could tilt his head to get a better look, a tunnel of light burst out from the glowing spot and out stepped a male, with brown hair and tanned, silky skin. He was really well built for someone his age, Levi could notice the hardening muscles on the boy's abdomen, and then he realised. He could see his abs because he's naked, and _holy fuck_ , He's Naked. 

"Where am I?" The boy asked matter-of-factly, and he turned around, grabbing a black cat, "Kip! You ruined the circle! Mikasa is going to kill you." The cat hissed and scratched the boy's face, and judging from how the boy didn't even flinch, Levi assumed that he was used to it.

Eren turned and noticed Levi staring at him like he had eight legs. "Oh shit, a human." Eren froze, "Please don't post my photo on Instagram or Twitter!"

"What?" Levi croaked, he was probably getting worser, the naked boy he even imagined was talking right now, how poisonous was a Persian cat's paws anyways?

Eren moved slightly, afraid of startling the man in front of him any further, he had a huge gash on his arm and he looked a little grim, he probably looked a little grim, he couldn't tell much from the man's emotionless face. "Y-you're hurt." Eren dropped Kip gently to the ground inched closer to him and summoned his spell casting book. He placed his hand on the wound and the man flinched, backing away but Eren looked at him, determined. 

"Let me help." Eren chanted a healing spell, and an orange glow spilled out from his arm, Levi's gash was getting better. Levi could see the person closer now, from this side, he could tell he was a boy, maybe in his early 20s. He had long brown hair, and when the boy looked at him, his orbs swirled with worry, and Levi gasped silently. He'd never see such green eyes before.

"What did this to you?" Eren asked silently.

"Okay, I'm back with the towels-" Before Levi could answer Jean came in Jean stopped mid-sentence when he saw a naked brunette healing his friend's wounds. "What? I- You- Huh?" Before Levi could comprehend what Jean was saying Jean closed his eyes and fainted. 

"Oh no! Please don't take my picture and post it on Instagram and Twitter!" Eren closed his eyes, but his hand did not leave Levi's arm.

"He's out cold, he's not taking anyone's photo, brat." Levi said.

"So he isn't?" Eren answered, going back to tend to Levi's arm, but he would pause every few seconds or so to check on Jean, who was still cold out. "So I guess this isn't a natural occurrence to you?"

"Seeing a naked boy coming out of a light tunnel? No." Levi said, "You should really put on some clothes."

"No, I meant you getting clawed." Eren looked up at the man irritatedly. He was trying to save his life and now he cared about how he dressed? Sure, maybe blue robes were out of fashion in the human realm, but in the underworld, everyone loved it. Eren looked down at his body and was about to retort, when he turned bright red. He yelped and tried to cover himself up with something. No one has ever warned him that he would appear naked when he took the portal to the human world. Levi stood up, turning his arm around. Whatever the kid had done, Levi's arm had healed up nice and quickly. He walked to the coat rack and threw Eren Jean's coat. Eren definitely couldn't into his. Eren looked at the coat in amazement and confusion. 

"Drape it over you and button the jacket up." Levi walked away to Jean, turning his back so he couldn't see the kid. He wanted to give the boy his space but he was worried the boy didn't know how to button up a jacket, but it should be easy, right? He shook his head to clear his thoughts and went to Jean. He probed Jean's stomach with his foot and Jean didn't even move an eye muscle. "You knocked him out cold."

"Me?" The boy answered from behind, "I didn't even do anything."

"You scared the lights out of him,"

"Humans have lights?"

Levi turned around and shook his head, "No? It's a figure of speech." God, how stupid was this kid? He even got the jacket's buttons all mixed up.

"Oh, okay." The kid whipped out a notebook and wrote down something.

"So, do you mind explaining to me what just happened? Or do I have to call the cops?"

"Calling the cops..." Eren flipped through his notebook in a frenzy and found the entry. It was helpful that he took down notes when emergencies happened in the human world. "Please don't call the cops, or you will never get your son back."

"What?"

"It says on the book, if I accidentally kidnapped a person's child, I have to threaten him not to call the cops."

"Did you kidnap any person's child then?"

"No..."

"Then you don't use it." Levi said. There was no way to get through to this idiot. He knew that.

"Um, if it helps, I'm the son of Satan."

"You're the what?"

"What's with you and all the "what"s? Do humans only know that word?"

"Don't change the topic, kid, you said you were the son of Satan?"

"Yes. And I got here from a summoning portal, your blood summoned me, so I am bound to you, and I can't stay until I accomplish one of your wishes."

Levi was surprisingly calm about this, he had always believed in demons and angels, but the bound by blood thing was kind of creeping him out. "Is this a joke? Am I on Prank'd or something?"

"No, you're not on... Pranked."

"Prank'd."

"Pranked, that's what I said."

Levi groaned and rubbed his temples with his hands. "So you can't leave until you grant one of my wishes?"

"Yes, and I would like you to do it now, so I can go home before my sister kills me."

"And you can grant anything that I want?"

"As long as it's within my magic range, yes. And mind you, I'm the literal spawn of Satan, so I'm really powerful."

"Okay, then I want you to give me a capable secretary, one that's totally different from you."

"A powerful secretary? Okay, coming right-" Eren paused for a second. Wait. If he granted the man's wishes right now, he would have to return home immediately. He didn't even see the aquarium yet, he didn't even see the ocean yet. But, if he could convince the human to another wish, maybe he could continue to stay here.

He was going to make Levi his Human Mentor.

"I'm sorry, I can't." Eren tried to sound as apologetic as he could, and it came out more naturally then he thought it would be.

Levi face darkened, "What do you mean you can't?"

"I'm afraid I'm just not that p-powerful yet."

"Oh well then how powerful are you? Do I have to wish for a bouquet of flowers instead? Didn't you say you were the literal spawn of Satan?"

"Yes, but using the portal took too much of my energy. I can still make your wish happen. It'll just have to take some time."

"How long?"

"Um, I don't know. One month?"

"One month!?" Levi yelled, "I don't have that much time to waste, I need to train a secretary right now." 

"And you will get it. I just have to be with you for one month, you can teach me everything you want in the secretary and at the end of the day, I'll make the secretary you want."

One month was just enough time, and Levi could jump right into training. He didn't have to go through interviews and screenings to find his secretary, he could just download all the data into the demon kid and wait for the secretary to make itself. "Deal. So, how do I contact you? Where are you staying?"

"I was hoping I could stay with you."

Levi laughed, sharply. "Listen, I might be 30, unemployed and living off my rich parents, but there is no way I am going to babysit a snot-faced 20 year old with a mentality of a 4 year old old." Levi said, "Even if he's the literal spawn of Satan."

"I'm not 20 years old." Eren frowned. "And if I moved in with you, Kip could stay too." Eren picked up the cat and passed him to Levi.

Kip looked up at the new face, and proceeded to lick his face. _Great. This cat didn't like him, but when he meets a grump 30 year old he's head over heels in love with him._ Eren grumbled.

Levi softened, "Fine. But just for one month."

"One month!" Eren repeated excitedly. "Oh, and, uh, one more thing." Eren chanted a spell and faced his palms to the horse face who was out cold.

"What did you do to him?" 

"I just erased his memories when he first saw me, I don't want him freaking out again later when he wakes up." Eren snapped his fingers and Jean eyes suddenly opened.

"Why am I on the floor...?" Jean struggled to get up. "Who's this kid?"

"He's the owner's son, and he's going to come intern with us today. He's going to be my secretary."

"What? That was fast."

"You said you wanted me to find a secretary. I found one."

"But how do we know he's trustworthy?" Jean asked.

"I know he is, I was interviewing him while you were drooling all over the floor."

"I wasn't-!" Jean looked down on the floor and a puddle of drool was on it, next to where he was lying. He cleared his throat, "Anyways, why's this squirm wearing my jacket?"

"He's naked underneath."

"But that's my favorite jacket."

"And I paid for it. Is that what you're really worried about? The jacket? Not the fact that he was naked?"

"You didn't pay for it, I bought it myself." Jean ignored the last comment.

"Yeah, yeah and the sun rise from the west."

"No, it rises from the east." Eren commented.

"That's what I said?" Levi replied. "Give him your shoes too, he's also not wearing shoes."

"I'm wearing them!"

"Yes! Jean! We know! You're _so_ rich! Would it kill you to give your very expensive shoes that _I_ bought to the kid?"

"I bought these shoes too!"

"Jean."

"Ugh." Jean took of his shoes and mumbled silently about how Levi was always forcing him to do things, how he doesn't get paid enough, how he didn't-

"Thank you." Eren said.

"You're fucking welcome." Jean replied.

"Language!" Eren chided.

"Oh, this is going to be _so_ much fun." Jean pursed his lips together.

 

* * *

 

After Eren came out of the shower and put on proper clothes, he sat down with Levi. "As a member of the Sina Company, one must be proper and prim. That means no long hair." Levi read from the rule book that his father made for all employees of Sina.

"But I like my long hair." Eren cried, instinctively he tried grabbing his pointy ears for comfort, but he reached only to find air. When he came out of the portal, he took on the form of a human, and that meant no pointy ears and no clothes, which was pretty odd, but he was sure the no clothes part was Kip's fault.

"Cut it off." Levi said, pointing at the barber he had called.

The barber started snipping at Eren's hair and Eren protested and beg.

"It'll be over before you know it." Levi tried to comfort the kid.

"Does he really have to come and live with us?" Jean asked from behind.

"Yes, it's faster to train him, and one month isn't a lot of time."

"But where will he sleep?"

"In your room, of course."

"And where will _I_ sleep?"

"In the guestroom."

"Can't he sleep in the guestroom?"

"The guestroom is at the west wing, which isfar away, the boy will be closer to contact here."

"I don't think you really considered this boy as a suitable candidate."

"Why not?" Levi snapped the book shut with one of his hands and placed it on the table. 

"Well, for one, you don't even know his name."

"Yes, I do."

"Oh really? What's his name?"

"Brat, what's your name?"

"I-It's Eren Jeager!"

"It's Eren Jeager." Levi shrugged.

"Levi, sometimes I think you really think I'm stupid."

"Sometime I think you're really stupid."

Jean sighed. "Why am I even working for you?"

"Because you're my childhood friend."

"I really regret that. I really, really, regret that."

"No, you don't." Levi turned his head to look at the bright eyed boy. _Eren Jeager_.

* * *

"So, we learned, Lesson one: Always keep yourself clean."

"Okay," Eren said, and jotted down the information.

"It's getting late anyways, I'm going to bed." Levi rose from the couch. "My room is here, and your room is directly next to mine. If anything happens I'll call you."

"And if anything happens to me?" Eren raised his eyebrows.

"Go to the west wing and call Jean. He'll help you. Don't disturb me."

"Wouldn't dare to." Eren's words was laced with sarcasm. "Take Kip with you, he likes you."

"Kip?"

"The black cat," Eren picked Kip up from the ground, when he wanted to play with Kip, he would summon him, when he was busy, or on the move, he would put Kip back into the realm where all the other companion spirits were, almost like a pet hotel, for demons.

"Kip." Levi confirmed, and picked the cat up. "How did you know I liked cats?"

"You were in a cat cafe." Eren said.

"You know what a cat cafe is, but not how to act when someone threatens to call the cops?"

"Yeah? It's basic knowledge."

Levi stared at the boy. "We have a lot of work to do tomorrow." He opened his bedroom door, and turned around. "Good night, Kid."

"Sa Vista."

"What's that?"

"It means "May your dreams be free of demons, and filled with joy and happiness and cats." Eren said.

"Oh, okay. Sa Vista, then." Levi closed the door.

Eren giggled and summoned his dictionary and flipped it to the word Sa Vista.

 _Sa - Vis - Ta_  
_Meaning: To say one is the butt of a horse_

"Trick a human to say Sa Vista, check."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can only apologise for writing Levi to be such a dick but that's what you get when his parents spoils him rotten! But don't worry, he won't be a dick forever, Eren will make sure of that! (Also I would like to point out the spell Mikasa did was just me typing in gibberish. It's definitely not related to any language at all, and if it was I sincerely apologise! It wasn't meant to insult any language at all!)
> 
> Thank you for subscribing and giving Kudos! If you'd like to comment on some of my typos, errors, or even just fangirl about the wonderful couple called Ereri, my comments section will always be here for you guys!
> 
> I'm @idkbria on twitter!


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